1. |
I'm Letting Go
02:49
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I am a ruddy combination of the judgment of my father and the sorrow of my mother
I am the disappointed victim of the long and trying absence of my one and only brother
I have forgotten the redemption of my past humiliation at the age of close to seven
I have remembered every insult that was thrown at my young tender heart at ages like eleven
I’m letting go, letting go of the child that I’ve been
I’m moving on, moving on as the future’s moving in
And I have hope, I have hope that all of my remaining glory stands undimmed
I am the unelected critic of the choices of my sisters and the foibles of my friends
I am a multiple offender who is too proud to surrender and too scared to make amends
I’m not a silence in the background or a voluntary statement on the state of our affairs
I’m more a single-winged robin, just to make it to the garret I will have to mount the stairs
I'm letting go, letting go of the lies that I’ve believed
I’m holding on, holding on to truth spoken over me
And I am strong, I am strong, I am strong, I am bending at the knees
And the lamp unto my feet is burning dim to say the most
With an empty palm held out I’m at the table with the Host
From the flip side of the tapestry I’m gnawing at the knots
But these strings will hold me in my place and tell me what I’ve got
I’m letting go, letting go of the life inside my fist
I’m holding out for the light at the end of all of this
And I believe, I believe there’s no meant to be that’s ever really missed.
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2. |
On Waiting
03:01
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Well, you’re such a hard little worker always busy as a bee
You can’t see me through my hazy fog of mediocrity
Though I know that I’m not doing all I know that I could do
I am on my knees and begging for some patience out of you.
Well, you’re such a good little mother with your apron and your strings,
And you nursed us from the breast, then you let us spread our wings
We all flapped and we all flew except the one who took a fall
Now I am on my knees and begging for some patience from you all
Well, I’m such a hard-headed, heavy-handed, dragon-hearted girl
But this world is still my oyster, and this life is still my pearl
But it won’t gleam and glow like moonlight while it’s sitting on the shelf
So as anxious as you are, I have less patience with myself.
Oh the moon is beating gently as the ocean softly roars
And I’m terrified of all that I might find beyond these doors
But I will never reach horizon if I’m chained here to this shore
And I think I’ll go insane if I stay here anymore
Well, I’ve drowned my tears in wine, and in my tonic and my gin
But at the end of every day, I am still covered in my sin
And I have longed to walk in freedom but I’m bound still in my shame
So won’t you speak me words of wisdom if you’ve ever felt the same.
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3. |
Tom & John
03:23
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I said Thomas, take me there. He said it doesn’t exist
As we started to laugh, I was finally kissed
I said Tom, nobody’s ever stolen my heart like you
I told John, if I could touch you to make her come back
I would lay my hands forever on your face and your neck
I told John, nobody’s ever opened my eyes like you.
Would you believe me if I confessed
I could never love you any less?
I turned the last page for the last time
The blows you deal are just as harsh when you set them down in metered rhyme
Your pictures paint words, your games play my mind
Your hands make me ache to give what you take, Your light makes me blind.
I said Thomas, take me there. He said, I’d love to but can’t
Then we continued on with our friendly banter
We wrote and wrote and wrote and wrote til our ink ran dry
I told John, you know she’s never coming back here again,
But I see you, you’ll see her, you’ll see. He said, when?
Would you believe me if I confessed
I could never love you any less?
I turned the last page for the last time
The blows you deal are just as harsh when you set them down in metered rhyme
Your pictures paint words, your games play my mind
Your hands make me ache to give what you take, Your light makes me blind.
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4. |
Carry Me
04:30
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Carry me in the arms of the Missouri.
Lead me through the trees to the river and
Lay me down on the banks of Atchison,
But don’t promise me a home.
'Cause I’m just a long time traveler here,
I know I am only passing through
But if I could find just one person to love
I could get by on just loving you
I could get by on just loving you.
And I’m afraid of putting down my roots here,
But I know down’s the only way to grow
This oak is whispering testimony to me -
It’s like she wants me to know
That I’m just a long time traveler here,
I know I am only passing through
But if I could find just one person to love
I could get by on just loving you
I could get by on just loving you.
And even though this river’s always moving,
She keeps on laying her kisses on the shore
And as you wait at home for me to spend my restless
She keeps me pushing on for more.
'Cause I’m just a long time traveler here,
I know I am only passing through
But if I could find just one person to love
I could get by on just loving you
I could get by on just loving you.
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5. |
Armoured Heart
04:22
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Staring down the barrel of a straight black line
I’d fall in love, but who has the time?
And I never met a heart quite like mine -
Satin, tobacco, and turpentine
Break apart, armoured heart
You gave yourself away too soon,
You pulled the branch before the root
I heard you carry the same old tune -
You always looked at me through you
Break apart, armoured heart
Break apart, armoured heart
The water between us is turning red,
The soles of my feet are burning lead
For every truth you ever said,
I let a liar lie in my bed
Break apart, armoured heart
See things as they are
Staring down the barrel of a dark grey gun
It kills me that you were the only one
And I’m afraid of love, 'cuz I’m too young
The only way I know to fight is to run
The only way I know to fight is to run
Break apart, armoured heart
Break apart, alabaster jar
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6. |
Who's to Say
05:06
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Gabriel I ran away, I didn’t rest for long
In the comfort of our easy way, in the warmth within your song
When we ran out of things to say, the night was nearly dawn
Every rope begins to fray when the pull is quick and strong
If I had held out there, If I had given us a chance to hold
Who’s to say? Who’s to say? Good thing that I didn’t stay.
Benjamin I ran away, and I make no excuse
Cuz any man on any day will get the hell out from a noose
There never was a person made for some other person’s use
In your arms and almost tame, I rattled myself loose
If I had held out there, If I was willing to belong to you,
Who’s to say? Who’s to say? Good thing that I didn’t stay.
Christopher, I ran away, I went running for my life.
Christopher, I heard you say I’ve got to stay and fight
Though I know you felt my way, you could not flee as I
You walked in what was good and straight, but I could not abide.
If I had held out there, If I had waited for the storm to pass,
Who’s to say? Who’s to say? Good thing that I didn’t stay.
Jonathan, I ran away, but I might be coming home.
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7. |
Unspoken
04:22
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In the madding of the crowd there is a name that still is yet to be read
In the fullness of the silence after storming there's a stranger in bed with you, my friend
You don't know her honest name but still it echoes in this valley of tears
You have tried to beat it out of her but silence is what's left after all the screaming years
But her voice is still her own, She’s not given it away
She abides still in truth unspoken, yet unspoken
When my thoughts come all in lyrics and my words are all from someone else’s play
Then my soul is what I brought for show and tell. Is nothing left that is sacred anymore?
Is nothing secret anymore?
And these thoughts are all my own but I will put them on a stage for you all
For the critics and the lovers and the haters and the fans to embalm
But my thoughts are not dead yet, They're alive and moving still
They are forming into words unspoken, yet unspoken
And I'm sorry if you can't say what you mean to say
But I mean it when I tell you that I hope you find a way
To get out what's in your heart for me, for me
There a silence in between the words that's louder than the letters alone
If you listen very closely to a stillness you’ll find one of your own
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8. |
Hymn to Wisdom
05:35
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Wisdom is a mother, pain’s a kind of prayer
I try but I can't seem to make myself not care
When I reach for comfort, my hands find mostly air
If patience is a virtue, my dreams are hard to bear.
Wisdom is a teacher, lessons learned are hard
Ambition rouses gently, leaves it's calling card
Oh let my heart be mercy, oh let my hands be scarred
If patience is a virtue, I'll resurrect my guard
Wisdom is a blessing, thinking is a curse
I can't make you better by making myself worse
I can't love him if I can't forgive him first
If patience is a virtue, she's lightning in reverse
Wisdom is the soil of all I'd like to grow
Nature can't be trusted except to ebb and flow
And everything that comes inevitably goes
If patience is a virtue, she'll green the winter snows
Wisdom stands a sentry to keep what's gone before
Lays a nest of olive branches down beside hell's door
The hope of every widow hobo reject saint and whore
If patience is a virtue, please send a little more
Wisdom is a lover, the only one I've known
I never met a child both without a throwing stone
I've need of both my hands now, so mine have all been thrown
If patience is a virtue, I'm building her a throne
Wisdom lays a fetter, hardship winds a chain
Love demands a dying, prayer's a kind of pain
Sunshine she will find me waiting in the rain
If patience is a virtue, if see can turn to grain,
if waves can carve a cliffside, if songs can keep me sane
If every loss is harbinger of deeper greater gain,
then everything's redemption and nothing is in vain.
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9. |
Buried Alive
02:56
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I was buried alive, beneath the earth without breath
Pushing at the dirt above
Desperate for the light and the sky
I could feel myself breaking,
Splitting apart and cracking at the seams
I’m dying, I’m dying! Oh I know that I’m dying.
But I was only a seed
And I was safe below
And I had to break out of myself to grow.
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